Somewhere between my consciousness and your heart,

you’ll find I’ve been weaving a chain of letters in which I’ve been writing to you.

faceless and nameless you

i’ve yet to get to know

but have been in the process of learning

what the purpose of this journey

is to make my way to you

whether that be in this lifetime

or after my death and born in another

the echoes of a gravitational force which form a pendulum wave

forge the liquid steps in which I lay to find you

and how ashamed I feel, that this life was wasted

in entertaining those who never appreciated

a word I wrote, and that ought to be

because those words were only ever meant for you

and how I wish that life was spent

only dancing with you, En Pointe, my foot against your foot

as you sing 1, 2, 3 – 1, 2, 3 – 1,2,3

because it’s you who knows i like to dance

fun with folly, wildly gracious and with class

the waltz and ballet, a play experienced in my head

each step taken, stomping out memories I’ve made

with the people here that didn’t last

because I have no head space left in me

to hold insignificant follies that went south

and caused me to doubt

that I might ever find you

I bow my head because it’s depressing to think

that you might not exist

because the one in my head, is stuck in his own head too

perhaps he’s like me, and I imagine writing poetry

because all hopeless romantics do

innocent hearts dredging on day to day

as lifeless corpses doing what they are supposed to do

because treasure hunting for our soulmates

wasn’t part of our societal role

when all we see when we scroll thru our phones

are those who seek casual hookups and disposable friends

people who lack wisdom and those who lack depth

I lack the passion to admit who I am

it gains nothing from the onlookers in the end

I’m forgotten and back in my seat, writing you again

Somewhere between my consciousness and your heart

you can solve the equation of the notes I laid upon the path

how few even know that in music there are numbers and math

numerical symphonies written in blood to darken my wrath

which softens at the thought that you are smarter than that

and although I do not know who you might be just yet

I think of all the activities in which we will duet

I hope that you like martial arts

because I want to practice too

and I hope you enjoy strategy games,

because I might have to teach you a few

across the table, where your eyes will make a debut

and now you’re running around in my head

I recollect what it must feel like

to lock souls with you

but maybe I already know

maybe I’m being prepared

to recognize it when you get here

this really isn’t fun anymore

waiting for you to get here

it’s not my fault I’ve had to date other men

i really should be blaming it on you

because where are you?

I’m actively looking, but are you looking for me?

its like I have no words left, and as the years

are drained of me, the spark of hope is fading me

yet, all I have to do is hear a symphony

and know that you are somewhere in that harmony

maybe trying to find me? From the romantic era of 1890

i heard the piano piece you wrote for me

it traveled from then to now and is a part of me

are you a pianist? The musical poet?

or am I a day dream believer

that sitting in a sea of 130 billion mindless beings

there is one man who’s sitting around also waiting for me

and he’s got music, pictures, videos and poetry

he has a scrapbook of all our past life memories

he’s thoughtful and sentimental, just like me

generous and helpful, and a little bit doubtful

when I ask him to give me the car keys

so I can drive away from here, park us under the stars

because there would be no happier ending

than to pass away, next to the one you love

and make our way to mars

hand in hand I wrote to him

and write to him still today

i’m disappointed with the depth of men

and I’m sad I can’t find a way

to locate the dreams and desires of your heart

laying a path from my conseincess was a start

but it’s taken so long to bridge the gap

i find myself in constant thought

between working and words shared with friends

I dissociate and get lost inside my head

for all these fools want to be part of a show

and I want to be laying in your bed

hand in hand and head on heart

I want to breath in your psychological demands

and breath them out as filtered commands

which will pave a road for us to walk to candyland

cause I don’t want chatGPT to comprehend

our escape from this world, via the pen in my hand

it’s just my imagination and it’s running away with me

constantly trying to solve the equations in the melodies

wondering if you weaved in a kiss on the forehead for me

or shall I got to bed another night and wake another day

with all these horrid people in my life

who scoff at romance and at my ways

to them its just a joke, they have no hope, to find love

they lost it on some path of hurt in which they fell and gave up

they picked up their things and walked on home and never looked back again

and sometimes I fear that you are also one of them

and so I try and try, my very best

to weave a beautiful path from my consciousness

to your heart

so that maybe when you decide to find me, you’ll see me

I’m made of poetry, honesty and loyalty

and hopefully you were made for me

I’m genuine and cooky and not everyones cup of tea

but I hope that the acquired taste that is me

drives you mad with lust and love

and most importnatly

i hope to see you smile, when you find me

because that smile will…destroy me

and have me down on my knees asking god to forgive me

forgive me father, for I have sinned

I want nothing more than to give him my soul

but more importantly I want you to know

that I pray when he sees me too, he feels I’m the win

because I’ve been working very hard to prove to him

that I’m his one and he’s la fin

the first and the last and the only one to ever be

for after we meet

everything else will cease to be

i won’t remember the rest

and the rest, can forget me

no need for any of those memories

because after you walked the path from my consciousness to your heart

we will be married

and happily we shall live

la fin