I like him
Because I made memories with him
A patchwork quilt of lust and wonder
Stitched together like tales from brothers grim
I made memories with him.
Hid them in my cornea asunder
But he wants to forget them
write me off as a reformatted lover
I like him.
but no matter who I change myself to be
his eyes lie in the prize of another
and i’m left sitting with this half assed, created personality
I guess I can’t blame him
I’m always on the outside looking in
cataloging every movement he makes
so I can come home and replay them in my head
It’s because I know my time is short
and getting too close to the sun
would mean getting fucked royally, in the head
I adore him
and we aren’t even on the same vibe
I’m planets away, in a future him and I share
Placing his dimples, in a scene in our life
I’m a dreamer
and you aren’t one to make someone, as reckless as me
into an old man’s wife.
I break things
and with that comes rage filled eyes
held back with gentle composure
the emotional intelligence giving me butterflies
how do you articulate
the source code to the doctor of frankenstein
to reinvent myself into this man’s life
you’re not his type
So why do you even begin to try?
is the effort to win a place in his heart
even worth the shitty prize
you’re not even worth
being loved with the same extent
that he loves his own dog
And it makes me feel envy
that she could reach a part inside him
that I won’t ever get to feel or see
what it would be like
to be the girl of his dreams
someone who could bring him to his knees
and maybe then he would like, me
Maybe, he likes me
He is the one, designing my memories
blips in time he’ll one day forget
but in my heart, each beat stays within me
I have a pallet for
complex self destructive personalities
I have an ear for that silver tongue
thunder rolling in black velvet sensualities
He’s a $400
Bottle of Rare French Cologne
You’re nothing but a teenage girl
on the verge of busting her $20 bra
Beads of sweat stream
by my temple, just missing the corner of my eye
Lusting over rotten, candy coated apples
and I fall into his arms, like a starving fruit fly
My mouth salivating
in response to his grand erection
pavels dog needs feeding
practicing my tactical sloppy perfection
Now I understand
rumors of the housewives of men
who wake early, everyday to get prepared for their man
for now I understand
the type of prize worth that expenditure
placing myself in the madness of his mouth
To be his prey, I crave my predator
It ain’t too bad, the way you using me
cause I sure am using you
to do them things you do
a wop bop a loo bop a wop bam boom
The constant effort is worth
getting a smile to come out of him
there ain’t no sunshine when he’s gone
and when he’s there, my soul fills to the brim
I want him
Every single day, but not forever
For now, but not tomorrow
In this moment, held in time strung together
He won’t dance
I won’t love him, nor will I hug him
He won’t ride my esoteric vibe
I try to drown, while he teaches me to swim
reset me and forget me
unlove me and eject me
turn my world inside out
and just go on and leave me
He’s not my future
He’s just my memory
shake him from my head
remove him from my energy
I’ve nothing left but to document him
time that meant the whole world to me
is now labeled and thrown away in a bin
I’ve just not been blessed enough
to be intrinsically noticed by him
I have to live with my back turned, in his shadow
a facade of staying cool, while over boiling within
in another lifetime, there is a me and him
this one I got unlucky
quality time has been trimmed
memories cut short
falling thru my grasp, they slip
on my knee’s I frantically coral them
my beautiful forevers, his momentary blips
and I’m left
with the taste of his tongue on my lips
his fingers dancing, caressing me
finding a place where they can take a dip
I’m left with, nothing
but the sweet and sour memories
of him
My Twin
