You have been the kindest and caring of men to me. Of all the men I’ve dated in the past 5 years, You have made the greatest impression upon me. I am starstruck on you. I’ve not met anyone who’s company I enjoyed as equally as the intimacy.

If you are an old man, I’ll be an old lady. But when I feel like being a playful girl. I need you to be a playful boy. If I have to endure old men barking at kids. You can endure quiet floats on the lake while we fish and smoke a bowl. Maybe I can show you how to catch turtles too. 🙂

There is no one I am interested in beyond you. I enjoy you. I’m afraid to lose you.

My heart swells when you share a photo of your day with me. You talk with me everyday. You make me feel not just special. But actually seen. I dont feel so alone anymore. Not for now at least.

I will savor every moment you give me like gold. I will treasure it because it’s the most valuable time I’ve spent with anyone. My time with you is my favorite time. I love to watch you. I love to learn you. I love to see you serve me breakfast and coffee. I’m a fool for that smile, dimple and charming eyes. Hypnotized I am by you. Afraid of you. I guard myself. Because it will end one day.

I can’t allow myself to be naked and wild and free with you. Because you would eat me alive. It would make me crumble to the ground with deep sadness.

I crave to be naked and wild and free with you. But I have to keep that stuffed in my pocket. Instead. I lie in my bed and imagine what it could look like. How it would feel. To look at you without fear. To dance with you without feeling self conscious. To feel passion with you, instead of just for me.

I’m afraid of boring you. Not being good enough. Young enough. Fun enough. Pretty enough. Girly enough. Trendy enough. Dressed well enough. Clean enough. Happy enough. Quiet enough. Funny enough. Smart enough. Sexually enough.

Have you ever wondered why we need to be enough for someone? Instead of just being loved regardless if we are not enough? What horrible thought processes those are.

You are more than enough for me. Perfect in every way. And all the things that might not be good enough? We’ll improvise. Don’t like dirt bikes? Too bad. If you like me, your gonna like a dirt bike ride. We will learn together. It’s fun. Cause we are together. And there is nothing better than that. I don’t like the city. But the city never looked so good as when you show me around to all the different places you like to explore. The city is a wonderland because your face lights up when we are there. If you like the city. I love it. Because it’s you. And I like you.

I’m envious of the future girl who takes your attention from me.

And I will remember you as my greatest lover. A loving and considerate man. Adorable. Sexy. Cuddly. Cute. Smells fabulous. Turns me on like no other. My arousal made by his whispers alone. The brush of his hand on me catches in my throat. I freeze and want to record that moment so I can replay it in my mind for days to come.

He’s trying to be a whole new man. Trying to reinvent himself. His only competition is that man in the mirror. It’s beautiful to watch. To see him get happy about his accomplishments. To see how proud he is of himself. To listen to him while he shows off all his new glories and projects. He lights up a room with all the knowledge he’s learned and wants to teach you. He tries to bond with you by simply brushing his teeth with you. And he can’t even do that without trying to correct you on how to do it the proper way. He makes me so nervous I can’t even pour myself a glass of water from his fridge without it spilling all over myself.

He has high class taste. And a low class attitude. Which he tries very hard to hide by saying ” I use to…”. He self improves. Shows self control. And works on being selfless. There are some cracks. But it’s kinda hard to be a big bad wolf trying to fit in sheep’s clothing. That dick sure be swinging for everyone to see! And he enjoys giving the show.

Smiling with his eyes. He steals my soul.

P.S people. You can fall in love over and over again with new people if you just leave yourself open to it. It will never just be once if you happen to lose it. So don’t be discouraged. Always look. There are alot of beasts in the wild. But there are a few angels too. Hard to find. Rare to keep.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. My heart is elastic. A Phoenix. Constantly reviving from the ashes. Into something new and beautiful molded by each man that lays a small kiss on it. Until they are done. And it starts over and over again.

I am a fool. Everybody plays the fool, sometimes.