I lay awake at night with lust spinning around in my head. I am a woman whom desires a man whom has no desire for me whatsoever. He ignores my advances and completely pushes me away. I’m driving myself crazy. Never before had I met anyone that awakened such a powerful desire down inside of me. All it took was his first glance at me and I was hooked then on.
A beast was released from inside of me. Pushing passion through my body. Passion for someone who I can’t ever touch the way I need to. His voice makes my head spin and the sound of his name rolls erotically against the roof of my mouth. His stare makes me crumble in my seat while my loins throb against one another, wanting, needing, begging for him to take me against my will. He’s so normal, and I’m nothing but a monster in sheep’s clothing. A harlot relishing in her daydreams of him tying her up and punishing her for all the bad thoughts she has for him. If I could control this hunger I have inside of me I would. But I can’t. I need to be tamed. I’m a bad bad girl. A slut. A whore.
There is an energy inside of me I’ve never felt before so strongly and the more I realize I can never have him, the more agonizing this lust I have is. A lust for someone whom doesn’t lust for you. I fear that I may never get the chance to indulge myself in the smell of his skin. The vibration in my body from the touch of his skin against mine. Just near mine. I’m crazy. Off the wall insane to let the thought of someone take such control of me.
I think of him when I make love. Thinking of him pleasuring himself alone at home, and me, soaking in his passion for himself. Craving and salivating at the thought of laying my tongue against his shaft and watching him quiver in need. I’m completely weak in the knees when I daydream of sitting across from him with a short black pleated skirt. I ask for help and he hovers behind me as I stay seated at my desk. His groin pushing up against the back of my chair. My hand tracing my warm thighs. His face close to mine as I try so hard to pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth. But all I can see is his mouth against my sex. Watching him taste my dripping wet desire as I moan in ecstasy at the moon.
I want so much for him to lose himself as I am lost in this never ending pulsating mania of thirst. I shall not be quenched and I’m breaking under the glass. Rules, manners and being “appropriate” are agitating me. There is a beast inside of me. A beast hungry for a man. A plain normal man. A man who would never read garbage on craigslist. I write my souls desire in the garbage. My thoughts lost amongst the other trash.
He shall never hear my calls. And I shall forever feel the force I will never really know.